Tuesday, 6 January 2015

I'm not 'skinny'

She awakes every morning ready to face the day. 
Yet as she awakes feelings of doubt dismay
Feelings of hatred towards herself and confidence only depending on how she looks.
Ignoring the knowledge of the writer of the big book
As she walks, she sees herself in the reflection of what was staring at her the night before.
And what is constantly haunting her every thought
Again she looks deeply at the person that she once saw
and knew as her worth was something more.
More than her mornings that would always start off the same. 
"Am I skinny yet?" "Has my body changed?"
The girl in the mirror told her that she was heavy
And if only she change, she will be happy 
But it wasn't until her thoughts were consumed 
that she started to see what she believed, wasn't true 
She was in fact made with such care and love
that her beauty and design was from above 
Poem by Sara-Jayne

I wrote this little short poem to simply describe the way I use to live and the way so many girls live today. It's honestly sad when I think about it. The lies the enemy plants in our minds. The belief of thinking that we will never truly be happy unless we look a certain way. Waking up in the morning constantly thinking of ways to get 'skinnier'.To get to this false belief that health is what skinny is. Where that is most definitely not true!

So many of my days were wasted looking at myself in the mirror, trying to see if my stomach was flat. To see if my tummy has shrunk and if I'm looking anything like the girls I followed on instagram. I was in this trap of staring at myself in the mirror every morning. Judging myself by the way I looked and by what I ate. That if I ate something I believed as 'unhealthy' I would instantly think I am not good enough. I'd look at the mirror and let that dictate the way I felt about myself.

One thing I needed had to learn was that everyones body is different! No one is the same!! We were all made to be different and not one of us are the same, look the same or will ever be the same. In Psalm 139 tells me that I was made with such love and detail. I am wonderfully made by a God who loves me and took time to create me. I am his creation and so are you! So why do we keep comparing ourselves when we were born to be different?! 

"For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb."

Psalm 139:13

Above everything else we need to learn to love our bodies the way they are. To number 1, STOP comparing yourself to everyone else. You were made to be different! To be the best amazing you that you can be! This belief that this world lives in, that we need to try to be skinny, is a lie.We don't need to try to be anything more, becasue you are more than enough. No matter how much I try, I will never reach a skinny goal that will make me happy. Because as cliche as it is, happiness is not found  by the way you look or things of this world. True happiness is found when you start loving the person that God made you to be. The source of my happiness? All comes from God! As when I spend time with God I know the truth of who I am because He tells me.

She awakes every morning ready to face the day. 
The feelings of doubt she tells to go away!!!

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